IT'S NOT SO INNOCENT: WHY WE NEED TO BAN SNOW

The following information appeared in an article called "Guelder Rose Pipe", published in a popular marijuana magazine:

Step 1: Find something long and skinny. A pen works well, here.

Step 2: Pack a good size snowball.

Step 3: Carve out a smallish bowl using your pen or fingers.

Step 4: Using your trusted pen, tunnel a whole into the side of the snowball connecting it to the bowl. Go easy, this takes finesse.

Step 5: Place some good bud in the bowl—but do NOT press it—balance it. Now fire up your Guelder rose pipe. Smokey-smokey!

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Now we understand why the drug lord God invented snow. Those drug pushers will stop at nothing! We warn parents that drug paraphenalia is always disguised to look innocent, but those fools still won't listen! Children are still allowed to play outside, away from our anti-drug ads on t.v., when there is all that paraphenalia that lays around all winter!
We now understand where the resistance to global warming is coming from.
Environmentalism is a front for the pro-drug movement!

If you love your children, burn that gas like there's no tommorrow, because if we don't quicken the pace of global warming quickly and ensure that there's no tommorrow, we run the risk of having a tommorrow with drugs in it!